Day 6

Ironically, I used the following quotes in a lesson I taught at church, just over a week ago, on the very day we took our Katie to the hospital.  I had no idea when I prepared this lesson or taught that day, what trials were lying just ahead of us...trials that would change our family's life forever.

Quoting President Hinckley: “We know not what lies ahead of us.  We know not what the coming days will bring.  We live in a world of uncertainty.  For some, there will be great accomplishment.  For others, disappointment.  For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health and gracious living.  For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow.  We do not know, but one thing we do know.  Like the polar star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives.  He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith.”

"During Celestial pre-earth life, we knew that earth life would include trials, tribulations and adversities.  We were confident in ourselves, our Heavenly Father’s plan and in our Redeemer.  We looked beyond mortality – “our eyes were not so much centered upon the sorrows and trouble of life as upon the grandness of that which lies beyond.”

I do have a testimony of this.  I know I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father.  I know the Savior is my brother and that He can comfort me.  I know our lives have purpose and meaning.  I know that God is just and merciful.  I know if we are true and faithful, all things will be made right - maybe not in this life, but in the next.  I trust in His will.  My faith is strong, but my mind and body are weak.  Earth life has turned out to be a little harder than perhaps I had expected, and my "confidence" in myself isn't what it once may have been!  

This has been the longest and hardest week of my life!  My heart breaks for Katie and all she will have to endure.  A nurse told me last week, that in her experience, it usually took parents about two weeks before this all actually sunk in...well, it is starting to sink in.

I was so hopeful this morning as the doctor came in and said his goal was to release Katie by this weekend.  Katie had a pretty good day - no more vomiting and she was walking better and playing - so I thought, "great!  She will get the rest of the week to recover and then they will release her."  However, I got the wind sucked out of my sail tonight when the doctor came back in and explained further that Katie would be having more procedures done on Thursday orFriday.  She will need another bone marrow scrape, another spinal tap and more chemo - along with probably more platelets and a blood transfusion, along with replacing the needle in her port...and IF all that went well, then they are going to send her home.  Only for her to go back to the clinic next Wednesday for more chemo.  My heart sank!  Katie is still bruised and scabbed on both sides of her back end from the last bone marrow scrape....it is just so much so soon!!  My poor sweet baby girl.  I know she is strong, and I know we will get through this. One day at a time. 

Today I am glad Katie is still waking up each morning with a smile on her face.  She is so very sweet! Thank your for your love and support!  Please keep praying for Katie!!