Katie is doing well. She looks good and is feeling good. Well, she is felling good other than yesterday when she got car sick as we were driving home from Heber. I had given Katie and Conner Dramamine on the drive up, but I had opted to not give it to them on the drive home. I didn't won't to "over" medicate them - unless it was needed. I thought I would just keep an eye on them to see how they were doing, and...that didn't work very well! When car sickness hits - it hits! About halfway home from Heber, Conner grabbed his stomach and started screaming. As I was giving him a Dramamine, Scott asked if Katie should get some too. I told him, "No, she seems okay." A few minutes later we pulled over to let Conner walk around in the hopes he would not throw-up. Katie hadn't complained of feeling sick, so she stayed in the car with me. About five minutes after getting back on the road, Katie threw-up! Okay, so apparently they both need Dramamine every time we make that drive!
Scott's parents recently bought a cabin up in Heber. So we will be making the drive often. It is so nice to have a place to get away! We love going to the mountains. However, this past weekend did not prove to be very relaxing. The first morning we were there, Conner tripped and hit his head on a door post and had to get 5 stitches in his forehead! Later that day he fell from a picnic table and narrowly missed hitting the back of his head on another table. The next day we went fishing by a lake, and Conner slipped on some rocks in the water and scraped up his leg, arm, and hand. He also got sunburned, because he didn't want to put his shirt back on. Later that night he ran into a table and badly bruised his knee. And then there was the drive home (car sickness).... In between all of that though, we had a nice time.
Last Wednesday we took Katie to the clinic for a check-up. Instead of using her port, they poked her in the hand to get the blood they needed to run tests. They easily found a vein and got the blood they needed, but it wasn't any easier than using the port. Katie was very upset (it took 3 of us to hold her while the nurse put the needle in and drew the blood). We were told we will soon be getting Katie's port removed. -- Katie still has a mark on her hand from where they drew the blood. It hurts me to see that, knowing we will be doing that every month for the next year and a half. It is also strange getting used to the idea that we are giving her medication every single day for the next year and a half. There are no breaks from it. Although as I said, Katie is doing very well at taking her medicine. We crush up her medication in a teaspoon, add a little juice, and then suck it up in a syringe. This past week Katie asked if she could give the medicine to herself. So, she now holds the syringe and gives it to herself. We hate all the chemo and medication she has to take, but we are glad she is able to take her medication without a fight or complaint!
A good friend of mine (who lives in California) called me last week, and she said something that hit me hard, and that I had never quite considered in this way. She mentioned how great it was that I had Katie now, instead of having her 20 years ago. I sometimes forget how old I am! I could have had my children 20 years ago - I am 45 years old, 20 years ago, I would have been 25. If I had had Katie 20 years ago, she most likely would have died from the Leukemia. (A doctor told me in the beginning: "If we give your daughter the same medication we gave patience 20 years ago, your daughter would not live.") That is such a strange thing to think about! I don't know exactly what was meant to be or not be. If I had gotten married earlier, maybe my daughter wouldn't have had Leukemia - maybe... But one thing I know for sure is that because I did get married 20 years later, and had Katie 20 years later, she has a 90% chance to live verses a 3% chance to live. That has been such a strange but amazing insight. Maybe there are more reasons to "why" I got married later in life than I have could have ever before possibly realized.... All those painful years I spent alone, now play a huge part in the very reason why my daughter will live - and her living will save me from an even greater pain than what I had gone through before. What was once seen as a huge trial in my life, can now been seen as a great blessing, when viewed from a different perspective... No matter what or when - or what was foreordained or not - I am so grateful for the husband I have and the children I have. I am grateful (that if I were to have a daughter with Leukemia) that I have been blessed to have her now when there is such a great chance of a cure for her.
M. Russell Ballard has said: “My message to you today, my brothers and sisters, is simply this: the Lord is in control. He knows the end from the beginning. He has given us adequate instruction that, if followed, will see us safely through any crisis. His purposes will be fulfilled, and someday we will understand the eternal reasons for all of these events. Therefore, today we must be careful to not overreact....but what we must do is keep the commandments of God and never lose hope!” (“The Joy of Hope Fulfilled,” Ensign, Nov. 1992, 31).
Monday, July 30, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Day 258
We are back. We had a nice visit with my mom and family in New Mexico. There have been some highs and lows with Katie since I last wrote. Maintenance hit her hard. Katie looked and acted so sick for the first week after treatments. It was worse than it has been. It was very painful and difficult to see her so sick again. However, after the first week, Katie started looking and acting better. By day 2 of the steroids we noticed the effects, and by day 5 we were seeing the full effects - weakness, hunger, cravings, very emotional, weak, and even her face and tummy puffed up a little. However, the steroids are wearing off now, and she is daily getting stronger. By the end of our trip, Katie was almost back to her "normal" self. I can still sense some weakness in her, but she is happy and doing well.
The BIG surprise in all of this is how well Katie has taken her medication. She has taken it daily without complaint!!! It has been amazing! What a blessing - for her and us! I had talked to Katie before hand, and explained to her that she would have to take her medicine every day now. I told her we would be going to the clinic less and not getting as many "pokes," but that also meant she would have to take medicine every day - like a big girl. And she has! She has been such a big girl. There has been a lot of medication to take - especially that first week - but she has taken it without any fight, complaint, or struggle. What a relief that has been!! It just goes to show how much she has changed and matured from when this all started 8 months ago. I am so thankful for this blessing. I am so glad we aren't having to force the medication on her every day.
Another great thing, is that Katie's hair has grown so much in the past two weeks. That has amazed us! We have been told it could still fall out or thin, but most likely it will not. Katie is so excited about her hair - and we are excited and happy for her. She is looking forward to clips, bows, and ponytails.
Life has continued to be a roller coaster, but hopefully Maintenance will bring more of a regular routine into our lives. (Although, I hope the routine won't be that she has such a rough first week every month! That truly was very hard). We go back to the clinic tomorrow for a check-up. No chemo, but she will still get poked. Actually, tomorrow they are going to try using a vein rather than her port. The doctors are anxious to get her port out - and in a way, we are too. Taking her port out will lessen the risk of Katie getting a life threatening infection. (Although I dread the surgery to remove her port!)
We still have almost a year and a half of Maintenance ahead of us. I hope people will continue to pray for sweet Katie and our family. We still need it! However, I am wanting to shift my focus from sickness to wellness. I have decided not to continue posting daily on the blog. Instead, I am going to post once a week. Hopefully, now that we are in Maintenance, there will not be so many ups and downs and not so much to comment on. Hopefully, our life will take on some normality. We are ready for that! My only worry in doing this, is loosing people's interest in Katie. I started this blog in the hopes of "reminding" people about Katie, so people would remember to pray for her. I hope your prayers for Katie will not lessen as my blog writing lessens. Katie still needs as much prayer as she ever did. Please keep praying for our sweet little Katie!
Spencer W. Kimball said: “There is a knowledge that our Father in Heaven wants each of us to have, and that is a personal knowledge that he hears and answers our prayers.” ("Pray Always," Ensign, Oct. 1981, 3).
The BIG surprise in all of this is how well Katie has taken her medication. She has taken it daily without complaint!!! It has been amazing! What a blessing - for her and us! I had talked to Katie before hand, and explained to her that she would have to take her medicine every day now. I told her we would be going to the clinic less and not getting as many "pokes," but that also meant she would have to take medicine every day - like a big girl. And she has! She has been such a big girl. There has been a lot of medication to take - especially that first week - but she has taken it without any fight, complaint, or struggle. What a relief that has been!! It just goes to show how much she has changed and matured from when this all started 8 months ago. I am so thankful for this blessing. I am so glad we aren't having to force the medication on her every day.
Another great thing, is that Katie's hair has grown so much in the past two weeks. That has amazed us! We have been told it could still fall out or thin, but most likely it will not. Katie is so excited about her hair - and we are excited and happy for her. She is looking forward to clips, bows, and ponytails.
Life has continued to be a roller coaster, but hopefully Maintenance will bring more of a regular routine into our lives. (Although, I hope the routine won't be that she has such a rough first week every month! That truly was very hard). We go back to the clinic tomorrow for a check-up. No chemo, but she will still get poked. Actually, tomorrow they are going to try using a vein rather than her port. The doctors are anxious to get her port out - and in a way, we are too. Taking her port out will lessen the risk of Katie getting a life threatening infection. (Although I dread the surgery to remove her port!)
We still have almost a year and a half of Maintenance ahead of us. I hope people will continue to pray for sweet Katie and our family. We still need it! However, I am wanting to shift my focus from sickness to wellness. I have decided not to continue posting daily on the blog. Instead, I am going to post once a week. Hopefully, now that we are in Maintenance, there will not be so many ups and downs and not so much to comment on. Hopefully, our life will take on some normality. We are ready for that! My only worry in doing this, is loosing people's interest in Katie. I started this blog in the hopes of "reminding" people about Katie, so people would remember to pray for her. I hope your prayers for Katie will not lessen as my blog writing lessens. Katie still needs as much prayer as she ever did. Please keep praying for our sweet little Katie!
Spencer W. Kimball said: “There is a knowledge that our Father in Heaven wants each of us to have, and that is a personal knowledge that he hears and answers our prayers.” ("Pray Always," Ensign, Oct. 1981, 3).
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Day 246
We are officially in Maintenance. Yesterday was long, but everything went fine. Katie took a chemo pill last night and she will start taking her (twice a day) dose of steroids today. She takes the steroids for 5 days each month. We are told to expect to see the "effects" of the steroids monthly. Katie will take the chemo pill (6MP) daily for the next year and a half. Also, On Friday's Katie will take 5 additional chemo pills (Mexotrexate). We asked to get any or all these in liquid forms, but the doctors said no. So we are crushing and putting them in a syringe with a tiny bit of juice. I told Scott I didn't want to try and "hide" any of the pills - there are too many to try and hide anyway - and especially since they can't be taken with food, milk or citrus - there is no way to hide it!
We had planned on giving the chemo pills to her in the morning, but they told us it needs to be evening, because it absorbs better into her system in the evening. We think evening will be more of a challenge than the morning, because she has to take it two hours after food, and an hour or two before food. My kids like a bed time snack - that isn't going to work anymore, because she would have to wait two hours after dinner to take the pills and then wait another hour or two before she could have a "bedtime snack". (So if we ate dinner at 6 pm, she would take the pills at 8 pm and couldn't snack until 9-10 pm - and she is in bed by then). I guess I could try moving dinner up to 5 pm...but we would have to eat right at 5 pm in order for her to get a snack at 8-9 pm. We will just see how it all goes, and we will do whatever we need to do. I told Katie the same type of thing, "You are a big girl now, and you are going to have to take medicine every day, morning and night. We have to do this to get rid of the cancer. So you are just going to have to do it. I know you can, because you are a big girl now." She took it fine last night - so we will see how that goes too.
We are going out of town today for awhile. It will be nice for us to get away. I will not be posting while we are gone. The 24th of July, Pioneer Day, is approaching and I wanted to recognize and honor their lives and sacrifices.
We had planned on giving the chemo pills to her in the morning, but they told us it needs to be evening, because it absorbs better into her system in the evening. We think evening will be more of a challenge than the morning, because she has to take it two hours after food, and an hour or two before food. My kids like a bed time snack - that isn't going to work anymore, because she would have to wait two hours after dinner to take the pills and then wait another hour or two before she could have a "bedtime snack". (So if we ate dinner at 6 pm, she would take the pills at 8 pm and couldn't snack until 9-10 pm - and she is in bed by then). I guess I could try moving dinner up to 5 pm...but we would have to eat right at 5 pm in order for her to get a snack at 8-9 pm. We will just see how it all goes, and we will do whatever we need to do. I told Katie the same type of thing, "You are a big girl now, and you are going to have to take medicine every day, morning and night. We have to do this to get rid of the cancer. So you are just going to have to do it. I know you can, because you are a big girl now." She took it fine last night - so we will see how that goes too.
We are going out of town today for awhile. It will be nice for us to get away. I will not be posting while we are gone. The 24th of July, Pioneer Day, is approaching and I wanted to recognize and honor their lives and sacrifices.
Gordon B. Hinckley shared this: "Every man and woman in this Church knows something of the price paid by our forebears for their faith. I have been reminded of this whenever I read the narrative of Mary Goble Pay, my wife's grandmother.
" 'We arrived in Salt Lake City nine o'clock at night the 11th of December 1856. Three out of four that were living were frozen. My mother was dead in the wagon. . . .
" 'Early next morning . . . Brigham Young . . . came. . . . When he saw our condition, our feet frozen and our mother dead, tears rolled down his cheeks... .
" 'The doctor amputated my toes . . . [while] the sisters were dressing my mother for her grave. . . . When my feet were fixed they [carried] . . . us in to see our mother for the last time. Oh how did we stand it. That afternoon she was buried. . . .
" '[I have thought often of my mother's words before we left England.] "Polly, I want to go to Zion while my children are small, so they can be raised in the Gospel of Christ for I know this is the true church" ' (A Pioneer Story: Mary Goble Pay, 1856, Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2–4, 10).
"I conclude with this question: Should we be surprised if we are called upon to endure a little criticism, to make some small sacrifice for our faith when our forebears paid so great a price for theirs?" , "Pursue the Steady Course," Ensign, Jan. 2005, 6–7).
I am grateful for my pioneer ancestors who paid the price of faith, and who left such a exemplary legacy for us to follow! Our Katie has some of that "pioneer stock" in her. She is strong, hearty, and determined! Elder Oaks said, "It is not enough to study or reenat the accomplishments of our pioneers. We need to identify the great, eternal principles they applied to achieve all they achieved for our benefit and then apply those priciples to the challenges of our day. In that way we honor their pioneering efforts, and we also reaffirm our heritage and strengthen its capacity to bless our own posterity and 'those millions of our Heavenly Father's children who have yet to hear and accept the gospel of Jesus Christ' We are all pioneers in doing so." ("Following the Pioneers," Ensign, Nov. 1997, 72).
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Day 245
We still notice some weakness in Katie, she climbs up the stairs on all fours (plus uses her head), or she asks us to carry her. She has also been complaining of foot pain this past week - all due to the chemo. It is hard to take her back...but, we are off to the clinc this morning. We are glad there are treatments available to cure Katie's cancer.
"The enabling power of the Atonement strengthens us to do and be good and to serve beyond our own individual desire and natural capacity." (David A. Bednar, "The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality." Ensign, April 2012).
"The enabling power of the Atonement strengthens us to do and be good and to serve beyond our own individual desire and natural capacity." (David A. Bednar, "The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality." Ensign, April 2012).
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Day 244
"A quality life is God's greatest wish for us. Life is to be lived well in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. There should not be a waiting period." , "Be a Quality Person," Ensign, Feb. 1993, 64).
We are back at the clinic tomorrow. Katie will get a spinal tap and chemo in her port. We are glad to be able to enjoy today.
We are back at the clinic tomorrow. Katie will get a spinal tap and chemo in her port. We are glad to be able to enjoy today.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Day 243
Back to the present... Things are good. Katie is doing well. We have two more days until we begin Maintenance. Katie is loving her new found freedom. She loves to go out! It doesn't matter where we go - just as long as we go! Every day she says, "let's go...I want to go." She has really enjoyed being able to go back to church and nursery. It has been nice for both of us to get out of the house more!
"The Prophet Joseph . . . explained that 'faith is not only the principle of action, but of power also, in all intelligent beings, whether in heaven or on earth' (Lectures on Faith, 3). Thus, faith in Christ leads to righteous action, which increases our spiritual capacity and power. Understanding that faith is a principle of action and of power inspires us to exercise our moral agency in compliance with gospel truth, invites the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior's Atonement into our lives, and enlarges the power within us whereby we are agents unto ourselves (see D&C 58:28)." , "Ask in Faith," Ensign, May 2008, 95).
"The Prophet Joseph . . . explained that 'faith is not only the principle of action, but of power also, in all intelligent beings, whether in heaven or on earth' (Lectures on Faith, 3). Thus, faith in Christ leads to righteous action, which increases our spiritual capacity and power. Understanding that faith is a principle of action and of power inspires us to exercise our moral agency in compliance with gospel truth, invites the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior's Atonement into our lives, and enlarges the power within us whereby we are agents unto ourselves (see D&C 58:28)." , "Ask in Faith," Ensign, May 2008, 95).
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Day 242
I am still in a reflective mood today... It was hard in November (and even a little hard now) to know I didn't "catch" Katie's symptoms sooner than I did. Scott noticed something was wrong with Katie before I did (which is hard as a mom). Getting Katie in sooner would not have made a difference in her Prognosis - but her poor little body would not have had to work so hard for however long it did. I know it is a pointless matter now, and like I said the doctors told us we did catch it "early."
I guess the hardest part is just remembering our circumstances at the time. That time period, leading up to Katie's diagnosis was the most painful and difficult time in my life (this was not just your "run of the mill" kind of stuff). Our family was going through things the average person will never go through. Our life was so intensely overshadowed by some events on the peripheral of our life that it made it difficult to focus on the interior of our life. Maybe that is why I didn't see Katie's symptoms sooner. Or maybe I just couldn't even comprehend (or deal with the fact) that our daughter had something so wrong with her that she needed to go to the hospital. Whatever the reason...like I said, it was a blessing we got her in when we did, and it was a blessing we took her to the hospital rather than the Pediatrician's office. Katie's outcome would not have been as favorable if she had been diagnosed later. So really, Scott says things worked out for the best - the way they needed to.
I am amazed, as I think back to last November. I was so emotionally drained, prior to getting the news of Katie's diagnosis, that it is a miracle I was able to carry on and be strong for her after her diagnosis. I can testify of the Lord's power to give us strength beyond our own. At that point I had already gone beyond my own capabilities to cope. I can clearly remember receiving strength in the days, weeks, months following Katie's prognosis. I actually felt stronger after Katie's prognosis that I had felt prior to it. There is no "logical" explanation to that - other than the tender mercies of the Lord and ministering angels. The power of prayer has been such a HUGE part of this whole process for us. We KNOW Katie has been blessed - she hasn't had to go through a lot of the negative side effects she could have gone through. Scott and I have felt strengthened - it has been real and tangible! Scott and I have reflected on that many many times over the past 8 months. I am so grateful for those who have "stayed with us" throughout this whole process with Katie. Your prayers have made a difference for Katie and our whole family. I am grateful for my family and the joy and happiness they bring to me. I am grateful for such a good and supportive husband. I am grateful for the help of extended family and friends - most especially Scott's mom. I am grateful for our Savior and his healing power. I can testify there is "Balm in Gilead!"
"When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray."
(Did You Think to Pray, Hymn #140).
Just as the Balm of Gilead (an aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds), can heal physical wounds, I testify that Christ can heal our emotional and spiritual wounds, if we will go to him in prayer. I am so grateful for that knowledge and that blessing. Prayer has blessed and saved our Katie, and prayer has strengthened the rest of our family - physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are glad for all the blessings we have received through all the difficulties we faced in this past year, but we are even more grateful to be moving forward!
I guess the hardest part is just remembering our circumstances at the time. That time period, leading up to Katie's diagnosis was the most painful and difficult time in my life (this was not just your "run of the mill" kind of stuff). Our family was going through things the average person will never go through. Our life was so intensely overshadowed by some events on the peripheral of our life that it made it difficult to focus on the interior of our life. Maybe that is why I didn't see Katie's symptoms sooner. Or maybe I just couldn't even comprehend (or deal with the fact) that our daughter had something so wrong with her that she needed to go to the hospital. Whatever the reason...like I said, it was a blessing we got her in when we did, and it was a blessing we took her to the hospital rather than the Pediatrician's office. Katie's outcome would not have been as favorable if she had been diagnosed later. So really, Scott says things worked out for the best - the way they needed to.
I am amazed, as I think back to last November. I was so emotionally drained, prior to getting the news of Katie's diagnosis, that it is a miracle I was able to carry on and be strong for her after her diagnosis. I can testify of the Lord's power to give us strength beyond our own. At that point I had already gone beyond my own capabilities to cope. I can clearly remember receiving strength in the days, weeks, months following Katie's prognosis. I actually felt stronger after Katie's prognosis that I had felt prior to it. There is no "logical" explanation to that - other than the tender mercies of the Lord and ministering angels. The power of prayer has been such a HUGE part of this whole process for us. We KNOW Katie has been blessed - she hasn't had to go through a lot of the negative side effects she could have gone through. Scott and I have felt strengthened - it has been real and tangible! Scott and I have reflected on that many many times over the past 8 months. I am so grateful for those who have "stayed with us" throughout this whole process with Katie. Your prayers have made a difference for Katie and our whole family. I am grateful for my family and the joy and happiness they bring to me. I am grateful for such a good and supportive husband. I am grateful for the help of extended family and friends - most especially Scott's mom. I am grateful for our Savior and his healing power. I can testify there is "Balm in Gilead!"
"When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray."
(Did You Think to Pray, Hymn #140).
Just as the Balm of Gilead (an aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds), can heal physical wounds, I testify that Christ can heal our emotional and spiritual wounds, if we will go to him in prayer. I am so grateful for that knowledge and that blessing. Prayer has blessed and saved our Katie, and prayer has strengthened the rest of our family - physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are glad for all the blessings we have received through all the difficulties we faced in this past year, but we are even more grateful to be moving forward!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Day 241
Last October, our family went to Utah for Fall Break. I forgot the camera, so we bought a disposable camera to use. I finally developed those pictures - and in true disposable camera fashion, more than half of the pictures didn't turn out, and the few that did, are so grainy that it is hard to see anything clearly. So disappointing!! There is only one picture of Katie that is clear - she is sitting on a pony at "This is the Place" Park. She looks like she does now, but with her hair pulled back in a pony tail. Katie's hair was so long and pretty. I wish we had more pictures of her at that time! I have often thought back to that time and that trip last October. That was just a few weeks before we found out Katie had Leukemia.
Looking at the Utah pictures (or lack thereof) Scott and I started talking about when Katie got sick. How long was Katie sick for before we took her in? That is hard to say... Was she always sick?... Did it come on slowly or quickly?... When did she get sick?... We know Katie had some problems as a baby. Fussy, fussy - for the first 9 months. The doctor told us it was acid reflux and so we treated her for that. After the 9 months Katie "grew" out of it and then she was a happy happy baby. Although, Scott always used to comment about Katie's bones - her bones would pop and crack a lot when we would pick her up. I remember Scott being concerned about that, saying, "that isn't normal". I remember her eyes. Her eyes would be really puffy in the mornings. I can remember wondering about her - why would were her eyes so puffy, why didn't she look "right" when she woke up in the mornings?...
Looking back, now we can recognize signs of something being wrong. But at the time we had no idea something was so terribly wrong with her. I remember Katie not being 100% in California in August - but we thought that was due to ear infections. Although, I don't remember her being sick on our trip to Utah, in October. However, after that, I do remember Katie didn't want to walk up and down the stairs any more, she would just lay on the stairs and say she wanted to be carried (but Conner did that sometimes, so I thought she was just copying him). I remember thinking it was strange that Katie had started sitting on the floor, rather than climbing up on the couch to sit. I remember Scott commenting several times on Katie's coloring being so pale, and saying he thought I should make her a doctors appointment (but he used to comment on how pale Conner and Katie were when they were babies, so I pushed it aside - telling him he was just used to having brown children). They were all small things it seemed - not something to really go to the doctor about. Well, except Katie's coloring - that got to the point that where we KNEW something was wrong.
I had started to notice that Katie looked pale too. I remember it was on a Thursday and we were eating lunch at Costco. I told Scott Katie's lips actually looked bluish. He said, "Do you think we need to take her to the hospital?" I still didn't quite get it...and said, "No, I will make an appointment with the doctor." I called that day (Thursday) to make an appointment with our Pediatrician and we were scheduled to go in on Monday. However, on Sunday night, when I stood Katie and Conner next to each other in front of the mirror, I finally realized that something was terribly wrong with our daughter. She looked so pale and sick compared to Conner. We put them to bed, knowing we had our appointment with the doctor the next morning. Katie woke up crying four times that night - finally at midnight, Scott said, "lets take her in." I didn't know what we were going to tell them at the hospital. We told them, "We are here, because our daughter looks pale." The intake person said, "She looks good to me." I even talked to Scott about just going home, but we decided not to. In my mind, I had decided Katie was anemic - I thought maybe it was due to all the antibiotics she had taken during the summer due to her ear infections.
When the ER doctor came in, he agreed Katie looked pale, and he said he was sure she was anemic. He said it was possibly due to drinking too much milk. I was sure that was it! My kids drink a lot of milk. I can remember feeling guilty about that at that moment in time. I thought I had caused her to be anemic. The doctor also told us Katie's heart rate was WAY up, her spleen and kidneys were enlarged. (We know now, what we didn't know then, that all of that combined are indicators of Leukemia). I am sure the doctor knew right then, but he simply said he would do some blood work to see if Katie was anemic and to see if "anything else was going on." The doctor came back in at 3:30 in the morning, and as he walked into the room, he said, "Well, your daughter is anemic (I remember thinking okay...so that IS what it is). But then he kept talking, he was saying things about white blood cells and red blood cells...and I KNEW where he was going with that. I started to cry, I remember saying, "NO, NO, NO - Please, No!" He said, "Yes, I am sorry, I am 90% sure your daughter has Leukemia." All I could think of in that moment was that my grandmother had died of Leukemia. I felt like he had just given my daughter a death sentence. I was devastated! I remember, wanting to call my mom and family immediately - I wanted prayers for Katie to start immediately. I also remember, if I showed even the slightest bit of emotion, the nurses would tell me, "You have to be strong... you have to hold it together...she will feed off of your emotions...you have to be strong." After a few days of that, I told Scott, if one more person tells me to "be strong" I am going to bite their head off! I AM being strong. I am holding it together. I am putting Katie first." (Ironically, I don't remember another nurse saying that to me after that).
We had to wait for 3 days in the hospital before we got the official diagnosis and begin treatments. We had been told it could be a number of things - ranging from less serious to more serious - but it was Leukemia... (Heavy SIGH...) But that was then... and this is now. We have made it this far and we have been greatly blessed. Even from the beginning. We are acutely aware that if we hadn't taken Katie into the hospital and had instead gone to the Pediatrician the next morning, there is a chance he would have misdiagnosed Katie. (We were told that by the hospital doctors, and I met a mother who went through that with her daughter) (Katie hadn't displayed any of the "obvious" signs of Leukemia - unusual bruising or broken bones). We were told we "caught" it early - which is hard to believe because she had almost no marrow left in her bones and her bones were 90some percent filled with blasts. Her poor little body was working so hard to keep her alive. I can't even think about what might have happened to her, if we hadn't taken her to the hospital and gotten her diagnosed when we did. We will never know when Katie got sick, but I am glad we got her in, when we did. I am glad we took her to the hospital and not the Pediatrician's office. I am glad she didn't have a worse form of cancer. I am glad she has the genetics she has (that has worked in her favor). I am glad she has responded to the treatments. I am glad she is feeling well today.
Last night when I expressed my disappointment about the Utah pictures - not having pictures of Katie just before she "got" sick and her hair fell out -my sweet husband responded, "We may not have those pictures, but we have her!" Yes, we have our Katie girl, and how truly blessed we are!!!
Looking at the Utah pictures (or lack thereof) Scott and I started talking about when Katie got sick. How long was Katie sick for before we took her in? That is hard to say... Was she always sick?... Did it come on slowly or quickly?... When did she get sick?... We know Katie had some problems as a baby. Fussy, fussy - for the first 9 months. The doctor told us it was acid reflux and so we treated her for that. After the 9 months Katie "grew" out of it and then she was a happy happy baby. Although, Scott always used to comment about Katie's bones - her bones would pop and crack a lot when we would pick her up. I remember Scott being concerned about that, saying, "that isn't normal". I remember her eyes. Her eyes would be really puffy in the mornings. I can remember wondering about her - why would were her eyes so puffy, why didn't she look "right" when she woke up in the mornings?...
Looking back, now we can recognize signs of something being wrong. But at the time we had no idea something was so terribly wrong with her. I remember Katie not being 100% in California in August - but we thought that was due to ear infections. Although, I don't remember her being sick on our trip to Utah, in October. However, after that, I do remember Katie didn't want to walk up and down the stairs any more, she would just lay on the stairs and say she wanted to be carried (but Conner did that sometimes, so I thought she was just copying him). I remember thinking it was strange that Katie had started sitting on the floor, rather than climbing up on the couch to sit. I remember Scott commenting several times on Katie's coloring being so pale, and saying he thought I should make her a doctors appointment (but he used to comment on how pale Conner and Katie were when they were babies, so I pushed it aside - telling him he was just used to having brown children). They were all small things it seemed - not something to really go to the doctor about. Well, except Katie's coloring - that got to the point that where we KNEW something was wrong.
I had started to notice that Katie looked pale too. I remember it was on a Thursday and we were eating lunch at Costco. I told Scott Katie's lips actually looked bluish. He said, "Do you think we need to take her to the hospital?" I still didn't quite get it...and said, "No, I will make an appointment with the doctor." I called that day (Thursday) to make an appointment with our Pediatrician and we were scheduled to go in on Monday. However, on Sunday night, when I stood Katie and Conner next to each other in front of the mirror, I finally realized that something was terribly wrong with our daughter. She looked so pale and sick compared to Conner. We put them to bed, knowing we had our appointment with the doctor the next morning. Katie woke up crying four times that night - finally at midnight, Scott said, "lets take her in." I didn't know what we were going to tell them at the hospital. We told them, "We are here, because our daughter looks pale." The intake person said, "She looks good to me." I even talked to Scott about just going home, but we decided not to. In my mind, I had decided Katie was anemic - I thought maybe it was due to all the antibiotics she had taken during the summer due to her ear infections.
When the ER doctor came in, he agreed Katie looked pale, and he said he was sure she was anemic. He said it was possibly due to drinking too much milk. I was sure that was it! My kids drink a lot of milk. I can remember feeling guilty about that at that moment in time. I thought I had caused her to be anemic. The doctor also told us Katie's heart rate was WAY up, her spleen and kidneys were enlarged. (We know now, what we didn't know then, that all of that combined are indicators of Leukemia). I am sure the doctor knew right then, but he simply said he would do some blood work to see if Katie was anemic and to see if "anything else was going on." The doctor came back in at 3:30 in the morning, and as he walked into the room, he said, "Well, your daughter is anemic (I remember thinking okay...so that IS what it is). But then he kept talking, he was saying things about white blood cells and red blood cells...and I KNEW where he was going with that. I started to cry, I remember saying, "NO, NO, NO - Please, No!" He said, "Yes, I am sorry, I am 90% sure your daughter has Leukemia." All I could think of in that moment was that my grandmother had died of Leukemia. I felt like he had just given my daughter a death sentence. I was devastated! I remember, wanting to call my mom and family immediately - I wanted prayers for Katie to start immediately. I also remember, if I showed even the slightest bit of emotion, the nurses would tell me, "You have to be strong... you have to hold it together...she will feed off of your emotions...you have to be strong." After a few days of that, I told Scott, if one more person tells me to "be strong" I am going to bite their head off! I AM being strong. I am holding it together. I am putting Katie first." (Ironically, I don't remember another nurse saying that to me after that).
We had to wait for 3 days in the hospital before we got the official diagnosis and begin treatments. We had been told it could be a number of things - ranging from less serious to more serious - but it was Leukemia... (Heavy SIGH...) But that was then... and this is now. We have made it this far and we have been greatly blessed. Even from the beginning. We are acutely aware that if we hadn't taken Katie into the hospital and had instead gone to the Pediatrician the next morning, there is a chance he would have misdiagnosed Katie. (We were told that by the hospital doctors, and I met a mother who went through that with her daughter) (Katie hadn't displayed any of the "obvious" signs of Leukemia - unusual bruising or broken bones). We were told we "caught" it early - which is hard to believe because she had almost no marrow left in her bones and her bones were 90some percent filled with blasts. Her poor little body was working so hard to keep her alive. I can't even think about what might have happened to her, if we hadn't taken her to the hospital and gotten her diagnosed when we did. We will never know when Katie got sick, but I am glad we got her in, when we did. I am glad we took her to the hospital and not the Pediatrician's office. I am glad she didn't have a worse form of cancer. I am glad she has the genetics she has (that has worked in her favor). I am glad she has responded to the treatments. I am glad she is feeling well today.
Last night when I expressed my disappointment about the Utah pictures - not having pictures of Katie just before she "got" sick and her hair fell out -my sweet husband responded, "We may not have those pictures, but we have her!" Yes, we have our Katie girl, and how truly blessed we are!!!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Day 239 & 240
Our Internet was down yesterday... Katie is doing really well. We have 5 days left before she goes back in for a spinal tap and chemo. We are going to enjoy the next 5 days and be glad for them!
If I get stern or upset about something, Katie will take my face in her hands, put her face close to mine, look me deep in the eye and say, "Friends?" I can't help but smile at that and I reply, "Friends!" She will then give me a big smile and a hug. I have no idea where or why she came up with that, but it is sweet.
President Benson's 10 suggestions for successful parenting:
If I get stern or upset about something, Katie will take my face in her hands, put her face close to mine, look me deep in the eye and say, "Friends?" I can't help but smile at that and I reply, "Friends!" She will then give me a big smile and a hug. I have no idea where or why she came up with that, but it is sweet.
President Benson's 10 suggestions for successful parenting:
1. Take time to always be at the crossroads in the lives of your children, whether they be six or sixteen.
2. Take time to be a real friend to your children.
3. Take time to read to your children. Remember what the poet wrote:
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be—
I had a mother who read to me.
4. Take time to pray with your children.
5. Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. Make this one of your great family traditions.
6. Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible.
7. Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family.
8. Take time to do things together as a family.
9. Take time to teach your children.
10. Take time to truly love your children. A mother’s unqualified love approaches Christlike love (see Ezra Taft Benson, To the Mothers in Zion, pamphlet, 1987, pp. 8–12; see also Ezra Taft Benson, Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1990, pp. 32–36). , “Memories of Yesterday, Counsel for Today,” Ensign, May 1992, 4–5).
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Day 238
Katie looks a little pale, but she is doing really good. She seems to be strong right now. It is fun to watch her play, run, and laugh. We are glad for the little breaks we have in between phases (this is our last break) before we go into this last phase (for a year and a half).
I wanted to wish all of Katie's readers a happy fourth of July! Today we are celebrating our freedom. Freedom has always come at a price. Most often the price has been blood - people who have sacrificed their lives so we can have the freedoms we enjoy today. How grateful we are as a family for all those who have sacrificed so much so we can have so much! We are a priviledge and blessed people!
Ezra Taft Benson said: "It is appropriate that we consider our heritage, our citizenship in this great nation, and our membership in the restored church of Christ.
"I pay fervent tribute to the forebears who made this possible—the Founding Fathers of this republic and our Mormon pioneers. I pay tribute to their faithful deeds, their noble lives, and their lasting lessons of faith in God, courage, industry, self-reliance, and integrity.
"We stand today as beneficiaries of their priceless heritage to us, a heritage based on the truth that righteousness brings forth the blessings of God.
"The Declaration of Independence to which these great men affixed their signatures is much more than a political document. It constitutes a spiritual manifesto—revelation, if you will—declaring not for this nation only, but for all nations, the source of man’s rights. Nephi, a Book of Mormon prophet, foresaw over 2,300 years ago that this event would transpire. The colonies he saw would break with Great Britain and that “the power of the Lord was with [the colonists],” that they “were delivered by the power of God out of the hands of all other nations.” (1 Ne. 13:16, 19.)
"The Declaration of Independence was to set forth the moral justification of a rebellion against a long-recognized political tradition—the divine right of kings. At issue was the fundamental question of whether men’s rights were God-given or whether these rights were to be dispensed by governments to their subjects. This document proclaimed that all men have certain inalienable rights. In other words, these rights came from God. Therefore, the colonists were not rebels against political authority, but a free people only exercising their rights before an offending, usurping power. They were thus morally justified to do what they did.
"Finally, the document concludes with this pledge. “For the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives,our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” (Italics added.)
"How prophetic that pledge was to be!
"Fifty-six men signed the document on August 2, 1776, or, in the case of some, shortly thereafter. They pledged their lives!—and at least nine of them died as a result of the war. If the Revolution had failed, if their fight had come to naught, they would have been hanged as traitors. They pledged their fortunes!—and at least fifteen fulfilled that pledge to support the war effort. They pledged their sacred honor!—best expressed by the noble statement of John Adams. He said: “All that I have, and all that I am, and all that I hope, in this life, I am now ready here to stake upon it; and I leave off as I begun, that live or die, survive or perish, I am for the Declaration. It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, Independence, now, and INDEPENDENCE FOR EVER.” (Works of Daniel Webster, Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1877, 17th ed., 1:135.)
How fitting it is that we sing:
Later, after he became President of the Church, President Woodruff declared that “those men who laid the foundation of this American government and signed the Declaration of Independence were the best spirits the God of heaven could find on the face of the earth. They were choice spirits, not wicked men. General Washington and all the men who labored for the purpose were inspired of the Lord.” (Conference Report, April 1898, p. 89.)
"Today we live in a choice land, yes, a land choice above all other lands. We live amid unbounded prosperity—this because of the heritage bequeathed to us by our forebears, a heritage of self-reliance, initiative, personal industry, and faith in God, all in an atmosphere of freedom. "Yes, I thank God for the sacrifices and efforts made by these Founding Fathers, whose efforts have brought us the blessings of political liberty and economic prosperity we have today. Their lives should be reminders that we are the blessed beneficiaries of a liberty earned by great sacrifices of property, reputation, and life."
"In the outer office of the Council of the Twelve hangs a painting done by Utah artist Arnold Friberg, depicting George Washington, the Father of Our Country, on his knees at Valley Forge. That painting symbolizes the faith of our forebears. I wish it could be in every American home.
"In the 1940s while serving as the executive officer of the National Council of Farmer Cooperatives in Washington, D.C., I saw in a Hilton Hotel a placard depicting Uncle Sam, representing America, on his knees in humility and prayer. Beneath the placard was the inscription, “Not beaten there by the hammer and sickle, but freely, responsibly, confidently. … We need fear nothing or no one save God.”
"That picture has stayed in my memory ever since: America on her knees in recognition that all our blessings come from God! America on her knees out of a desire to serve the God of this land by keeping His commandments! America on her knees, not driven there in capitulation to some despotic government, but on her knees freely, willingly, gratefully! This is the sovereign remedy to all of our problems and the preservation of our liberties.
Yes, those valiant patriots and pioneers left us a great heritage. Are we prepared to do what they did? Will we pledge our lives, our possessions, our sacred honor for future generations and the upbuilding of God’s kingdom on the earth?
"As one with you, charged with the responsibility of protecting and perpetuating this noble heritage, I stand today with bowed head and heart overflowing with gratitude. May we begin to repay this debt by preserving and strengthening this heritage in our own lives, in the lives of our children, their children, and generations yet unborn." (Ezra Taft Benson, “Our Priceless Heritage,” Ensign, Nov 1976, 33).I
I wanted to wish all of Katie's readers a happy fourth of July! Today we are celebrating our freedom. Freedom has always come at a price. Most often the price has been blood - people who have sacrificed their lives so we can have the freedoms we enjoy today. How grateful we are as a family for all those who have sacrificed so much so we can have so much! We are a priviledge and blessed people!
Ezra Taft Benson said: "It is appropriate that we consider our heritage, our citizenship in this great nation, and our membership in the restored church of Christ.
"I pay fervent tribute to the forebears who made this possible—the Founding Fathers of this republic and our Mormon pioneers. I pay tribute to their faithful deeds, their noble lives, and their lasting lessons of faith in God, courage, industry, self-reliance, and integrity.
"We stand today as beneficiaries of their priceless heritage to us, a heritage based on the truth that righteousness brings forth the blessings of God.
"The Declaration of Independence to which these great men affixed their signatures is much more than a political document. It constitutes a spiritual manifesto—revelation, if you will—declaring not for this nation only, but for all nations, the source of man’s rights. Nephi, a Book of Mormon prophet, foresaw over 2,300 years ago that this event would transpire. The colonies he saw would break with Great Britain and that “the power of the Lord was with [the colonists],” that they “were delivered by the power of God out of the hands of all other nations.” (1 Ne. 13:16, 19.)
"The Declaration of Independence was to set forth the moral justification of a rebellion against a long-recognized political tradition—the divine right of kings. At issue was the fundamental question of whether men’s rights were God-given or whether these rights were to be dispensed by governments to their subjects. This document proclaimed that all men have certain inalienable rights. In other words, these rights came from God. Therefore, the colonists were not rebels against political authority, but a free people only exercising their rights before an offending, usurping power. They were thus morally justified to do what they did.
"Finally, the document concludes with this pledge. “For the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives,our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” (Italics added.)
"How prophetic that pledge was to be!
"Fifty-six men signed the document on August 2, 1776, or, in the case of some, shortly thereafter. They pledged their lives!—and at least nine of them died as a result of the war. If the Revolution had failed, if their fight had come to naught, they would have been hanged as traitors. They pledged their fortunes!—and at least fifteen fulfilled that pledge to support the war effort. They pledged their sacred honor!—best expressed by the noble statement of John Adams. He said: “All that I have, and all that I am, and all that I hope, in this life, I am now ready here to stake upon it; and I leave off as I begun, that live or die, survive or perish, I am for the Declaration. It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, Independence, now, and INDEPENDENCE FOR EVER.” (Works of Daniel Webster, Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1877, 17th ed., 1:135.)
How fitting it is that we sing:
O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life!
“America the Beautiful,” Hymns, no. 126
"We know the signers of the sacred Declaration of Independence and the Founding Fathers, with George Washington at their head, have made appearance in holy places. Apostle Wilford Woodruff was president of the St. George Temple at the time of their appearance and testified that the founders of our republic declared this to him: “We laid the foundation of the government you now enjoy, and we never apostatized from it, but we remained true to it and were faithful to God.” (Journal of Discourses, 19:229.) In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life!
“America the Beautiful,” Hymns, no. 126
Later, after he became President of the Church, President Woodruff declared that “those men who laid the foundation of this American government and signed the Declaration of Independence were the best spirits the God of heaven could find on the face of the earth. They were choice spirits, not wicked men. General Washington and all the men who labored for the purpose were inspired of the Lord.” (Conference Report, April 1898, p. 89.)
"Today we live in a choice land, yes, a land choice above all other lands. We live amid unbounded prosperity—this because of the heritage bequeathed to us by our forebears, a heritage of self-reliance, initiative, personal industry, and faith in God, all in an atmosphere of freedom. "Yes, I thank God for the sacrifices and efforts made by these Founding Fathers, whose efforts have brought us the blessings of political liberty and economic prosperity we have today. Their lives should be reminders that we are the blessed beneficiaries of a liberty earned by great sacrifices of property, reputation, and life."
"In the outer office of the Council of the Twelve hangs a painting done by Utah artist Arnold Friberg, depicting George Washington, the Father of Our Country, on his knees at Valley Forge. That painting symbolizes the faith of our forebears. I wish it could be in every American home.
"In the 1940s while serving as the executive officer of the National Council of Farmer Cooperatives in Washington, D.C., I saw in a Hilton Hotel a placard depicting Uncle Sam, representing America, on his knees in humility and prayer. Beneath the placard was the inscription, “Not beaten there by the hammer and sickle, but freely, responsibly, confidently. … We need fear nothing or no one save God.”
"That picture has stayed in my memory ever since: America on her knees in recognition that all our blessings come from God! America on her knees out of a desire to serve the God of this land by keeping His commandments! America on her knees, not driven there in capitulation to some despotic government, but on her knees freely, willingly, gratefully! This is the sovereign remedy to all of our problems and the preservation of our liberties.
Yes, those valiant patriots and pioneers left us a great heritage. Are we prepared to do what they did? Will we pledge our lives, our possessions, our sacred honor for future generations and the upbuilding of God’s kingdom on the earth?
"As one with you, charged with the responsibility of protecting and perpetuating this noble heritage, I stand today with bowed head and heart overflowing with gratitude. May we begin to repay this debt by preserving and strengthening this heritage in our own lives, in the lives of our children, their children, and generations yet unborn." (Ezra Taft Benson, “Our Priceless Heritage,” Ensign, Nov 1976, 33).I
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Day 237
Katie is doing well. She is gaining her strength back. She hasn't had one "accident" since she was "done" with diapers. So, things are good. We are glad! We are grateful for your continued prayers and for the tender mercies of the Lord.
"The tender mercies of the Lord are real and they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence... The Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15)
"Recall how the Savior instructed His Apostles that He would not leave them comfortless. Not only would He send “another Comforter” (John 14:16), even the Holy Ghost, but the Savior said that He would come to them (see John 14:18). Let me suggest that one of the ways whereby the Savior comes to each of us is through His abundant and tender mercies. For instance, as you and I face challenges and tests in our lives, the gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. And the persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord.
"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)."
"His tender mercies are available to all of us. Each of us can have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days. May our hearts always be filled with gratitude for His abundant and tender mercies." (David A. Bednar, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord," Ensign, May 2005).
"The tender mercies of the Lord are real and they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence... The Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15)
"Recall how the Savior instructed His Apostles that He would not leave them comfortless. Not only would He send “another Comforter” (John 14:16), even the Holy Ghost, but the Savior said that He would come to them (see John 14:18). Let me suggest that one of the ways whereby the Savior comes to each of us is through His abundant and tender mercies. For instance, as you and I face challenges and tests in our lives, the gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. And the persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord.
"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)."
"His tender mercies are available to all of us. Each of us can have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days. May our hearts always be filled with gratitude for His abundant and tender mercies." (David A. Bednar, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord," Ensign, May 2005).
Monday, July 2, 2012
Day 236
Yesterday, Katie was able to go to nursery for the first time in a long time. She was very excited to go, but suprisingly shy and nervous when she got there. She was almost as shy as she was when she first started going to nursery. I guess it will take her a little time to readjust. I am glad she was able to go.
Scott and I were talking last night about Conner and Katie. It is amazing how your children can have the same type of... not personality per say... but "nature," about them. Conner has more of my nature, and Katie has more of Scott's nature. Katie got the "easier" lot! (Meaning, things don't bother her so much, or so easily). My mom always told me, being sesitive can be a good in some ways, but it can also make life harder, if you take too much to heart.
"No Father would send His children off to a distant, dangerous land for a lifetime of testing where Lucifer was known to roam free without first providing them with a personal power of protection. He would also supply them with means to communicate with Him from Father to child and from child to Father. Every child of our Father sent to earth is provided with the Spirit of Christ, or the Light of Christ (see D&C 84:46). We are, none of us, left here alone without hope of guidance and redemption." , "Prayer and Promptings," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 43)
Scott and I were talking last night about Conner and Katie. It is amazing how your children can have the same type of... not personality per say... but "nature," about them. Conner has more of my nature, and Katie has more of Scott's nature. Katie got the "easier" lot! (Meaning, things don't bother her so much, or so easily). My mom always told me, being sesitive can be a good in some ways, but it can also make life harder, if you take too much to heart.
"No Father would send His children off to a distant, dangerous land for a lifetime of testing where Lucifer was known to roam free without first providing them with a personal power of protection. He would also supply them with means to communicate with Him from Father to child and from child to Father. Every child of our Father sent to earth is provided with the Spirit of Christ, or the Light of Christ (see D&C 84:46). We are, none of us, left here alone without hope of guidance and redemption." , "Prayer and Promptings," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 43)
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Day 235
Well, I guess it was that easy. Katie is potty trained! Yeah!! Our only worry is on the days she gets treatments - she will be on IV fluids all day and she will get chemo which gives her diarrhea. We may have to use pull-ups on those days and nights, but I am not sure how that will go over with her. However, I am not going to worry about that today. Today I am glad she is a "big girl now."
"Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things.
"And the greatest of all good things is God." (, "The Love of God," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 22)
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