Day 242

     I am still in a reflective mood today... It was hard in November (and even a little hard now) to know I didn't "catch" Katie's symptoms sooner than I did.  Scott noticed something was wrong with Katie before I did (which is hard as a mom).   Getting Katie in sooner would not have made a difference in her Prognosis - but her poor little body would not have had to work so hard for however long it did.  I know it is a pointless matter now, and like I said the doctors told us we did catch it "early." 
     I guess the hardest part is just remembering our circumstances at the time.  That time period, leading up to Katie's diagnosis was the most painful and difficult time in my life (this was not just your "run of the mill" kind of stuff). Our family was going through things the average person will never go through.  Our life was so intensely overshadowed by some events on the peripheral of our life that it made it difficult to focus on the interior of our life.  Maybe that is why I didn't see Katie's symptoms sooner.  Or maybe I just couldn't even comprehend (or deal with the fact) that our daughter had something so wrong with her that she needed to go to the hospital.  Whatever the reason...like I said, it was a blessing we got her in when we did, and it was a blessing we took her to the hospital rather than the Pediatrician's office.  Katie's outcome would not have been as favorable if she had been diagnosed later.  So really, Scott says things worked out for the best - the way they needed to.
     I am amazed, as I think back to last November.  I was so emotionally drained, prior to getting the news of Katie's diagnosis, that it is a miracle I was able to carry on and be strong for her after her diagnosis.  I can testify of the Lord's power to give us strength beyond our own.  At that point I had already gone beyond my own capabilities to cope.  I can clearly remember receiving strength in the days, weeks, months following Katie's prognosis.  I actually felt stronger after Katie's prognosis that I had felt prior to it.  There is no "logical" explanation to that - other than the tender mercies of the Lord and ministering angels.  The power of prayer has been such a HUGE part of this whole process for us.  We KNOW Katie has been blessed - she hasn't had to go through a lot of the negative side effects she could have gone through.  Scott and I have felt strengthened - it has been real and tangible!  Scott and I have reflected on that many many times over the past 8 months.  I am so grateful for those who have "stayed with us" throughout this whole process with Katie.  Your prayers have made a difference for Katie and our whole family.  I am grateful for my family and the joy and happiness they bring to me.  I am grateful for such a good and supportive husband.  I am grateful for the help of extended family and friends - most especially Scott's mom.  I am grateful for our Savior and his healing power.  I can testify there is "Balm in Gilead!" 
"When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray."
(Did You Think to Pray, Hymn #140).
     Just as the Balm of Gilead (an aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds), can heal physical wounds, I testify that Christ can heal our emotional and spiritual wounds, if we will go to him in prayer.  I am so grateful for that knowledge and that blessing.  Prayer has blessed and saved our Katie, and prayer has strengthened the rest of our family - physically, emotionally and spiritually.  We are glad for all the blessings we have received through all the difficulties we faced in this past year, but we are even more grateful to be moving forward!