Day 133

     I was fine when I went to bed last night, but I woke up at 5:22 a.m. and was gripped by a sense of fear and sadness.  Scott and I both had bad dreams all night.  I was worried this morning because Katie hadn't woken up during the night, which is unusual (now).  Katie wakes up at least one time a night. So I wondered if she was okay, but I was too afraid to check on her (in case she wasn't), so I had Scott go see if she was okay.  She is okay.  I am not so sure I am...It makes me sad what we are going to do to her today.  I can't believe we have to take her back in this morning.  It is too much too soon!  On Monday Katie cried the whole way to the hospital, saying, "I don't want to go, I don't want to go...I want to go home."  I told her I didn't want to go either, but we had to go, to get the medicine to get rid of her cancer.  I never tell her we are going to the clinic until the last minute, because it upsets her so much.  She was particularly upset on Monday and I feel sure she will be even more upset today, because she isn't used to having to go so often.  Scott offered to come with us this morning and stay with us until Katie's port gets accessed.  I am grateful!  (We are trying to save his time off for the harder days ahead, but I am grateful he is taking some time off this morning to help me get her to the clinic and get started).
     Today I am glad Katie has been able to sleep, despite the steroids (and in spite of the fact that her sleeping so soundly caused me some fear this morning).  She needs the rest and I am glad she is getting it.  The steroids tend to cause insomnia - they certainly did last time - but we haven't experienced that this time.  I am grateful! - For all our sakes!!  Katie took two naps yesterday and spent the majority of the day resting.  She perked up a little bit yesterday late afternoon/evening, as we had a surprise!  G.G. (Grandma Nygren, my mom) came for a visit!  Two of my brothers and their families are in town for Spring Break (Scott & Kirk).  My brother Scott brought my mom.  We had talked about it, but my mom said she wasn't up to it - I guess she changed her mind - or Scott changed it for her.  Anyway, it will be great to have her here.  We are glad for the company!
     "The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him."  (Nahum 1:7)  The Lord is good and I do trust in Him - today in my day of "trouble" and always.