We have so much to celebrate and be thankful for this year. Scott was working on Thanksgiving day, so we had our Thanksgiving dinner at the fire station with the other fire fighters and their families. We have done this before and it is always a nice day. We then spent all day Friday at an Epps' family reunion. Which was also a very nice day. Katie and Conner had a lot of fun riding ponies, going on a hay ride, and catching baby chicks.
The hard part of this week was that Katie was just coming off of her steroids, and she was now getting hit by the chemo she had gotten the previous week. The chemo takes about 7 - 10 days before the effects really kick in. The past 3 mornings Katie has woken up crying and saying she felt like she was going to throw up. She asked for her anti-nausea medication (that was a first!) and she has been pale and very very shaky. Her blood sugar seems to drop really low during the night and when she wakes up in the morning she breaks out into a cold sweat, gets sick to her stomach and shakes. It is always very disconcerting. It always gets me...scared, agitated, upset...when it happens. It is hard to see her wake up this way. We give her juice, the anti-nausea medicine and a banana. That has seemed to help her (this week). She was shaking so bad yesterday morning that for a few seconds I thought maybe she was having a seizure or going into convulsions. It is hard way to start the day. However, she seems to recover well, and for the most part - at least to others - she seems fine the rest of the day.
This past week I realized how much Katie has changed, as she is growing up, through the process of all of this. When this started, Katie was only 2 years old and she could not verbalize how she was feeling, or what was going on with her. I am glad and grateful that she is now able to tell us when she is nauseous or doesn't feel well. Katie is now able to tell me if things are too hard, or she is too tired. Last week Katie told me, "Mommy, my body hurts." I was so glad she was able to communicate that with me! That was the day I realized how far she has come during this process, and I realized how very grateful I am that she can now voice her feelings to me more clearly.
I also realized there is one thing that hasn't changed during this past year. Katie still has never said a word to her doctors or nurses. She just smiles and/or cries and shakes her head, but she has never spoken to them. -- Katie tells me she is "shy." And she is shy (around others she doesn't know well), but she is also the sweetest girl I know! - And I am not just saying that as her mother - Katie is the sweetest little thing. Scott and I often comment to each other about her sweetness. Even the sound of her voice is sweet - and her laughter too. Just thinking about her makes me smile. What a joy she is to be around!
"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you" (D & C 68:6).
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