Day 720

     I am not an Endocrinologist, so I shouldn't even try to think like one!  Last night we ate dinner later than usual...We went to Olive Garden.  I figured that since Katie had pasta (later) that she wouldn't need a bedtime snack - so when she asked for one - I had Scott give her fruit, instead of a carb/protein snack.  We did give her the 2 tsps. of cornstarch before bed as usual, however I opted not to feed her at 3 a.m... It is hard to explain my rationale... But I had started thinking that maybe she only needing the new Proglycem medication, and I thought that maybe all these other things we had been doing (daily steroids, bedtime snack, cornstarch, 3 am feeding) weren't necessary.  But I was wrong!  We checked on Katie a couple of times this morning and she was fine - but then she wasn't.  She had a low blood sugar.  She was miserable, and I felt so bad!!  So...no more trying to out guess things, I will be sticking to the protocol.
     Katie has been doing well (with the exception of this morning).  She still has a pesky rash, that we wish would go away, but we are glad she has been feeling and doing so well.  Unfortunately that isn't going to last...  Katie goes to the hospital/clinic on Wednesday for her chemo - and this is the extra hard one - chemo through an IV at the clinic, and then we go over to the hospital and they put Katie to sleep so that they can take spinal fluid out and put chemo in.  It will be a hard day...with many to follow.
     January... We are looking forward to January.  That is not really the end, but it is a huge milestone, and it is the end of the chemo!  We are looking forward to better days ahead.  Hopefully with the end of chemo, that will also be the end of our troubles with her blood sugars as well.  And then Katie's life can stop being such an up and down roller coaster.  That will be so great!
     This week I have been reminded that life is a series of choices.  Choices made daily or even hourly.  I recently read an article in the Deseret News about a young woman, named Al Fox who has tattoos and has gotten baptized.  She talks about the judgments people make and the offensive things people say.   She talked about the choices she makes - and the choice we all make daily.  A choice to get mad, or be offended - or not.  We each decide how we respond.  We can decide to be happy and follow the Spirit and the counsel given, regardless of what others may say or do.  We can choose to have faith and trust in the Lord, no matter what happens in our lives.
     Al said, "What it comes down to, and what it always will come down to, is to choose God - or not... To always keep in mind that everyone is in different spots in their lives. Everyone needs to learn different things, different ways." 
     We are all sinners, we just sin differently than each other.  We should not stand in judgment of each other.  We are all equally dependent upon the Saviors atonement.  When people are rude, mean, or offensive we should think, "Is this worth giving up the blessings Heavenly Father has promised me?  Is it worth my exaltation?"
    Regardless of what others say or do, we still have choices.  We can choose to simply react to others, or we can choose to respond as a disciple of Christ - and I will be the first one to say that the latter can be a hard thing to do - sometimes being "the bigger person" (all the time/every time) can be very difficult!  But I know that what I do and how I do it makes a difference - maybe not for anyone else - but it does make a difference for me in my life.   I took on a covenant at baptism - to always remember Him and to be like Him.  I have chosen to be a disciple of Christ (and this week I have found myself wondering, "how am I doing at this?")  I know the Lords ways and promises are worth it.  And I know if I follow Him I will find more peace and happiness.  Each day, we need to decide to keep going... decide to trust... decide to have faith... decide to forgive... and decide to truly be a disciple of Christ rather than to choose bitterness and anger, or to revile for reviling.  We need to choose God - and we need to choose Him daily. 
    "Now the spirit, as well as the body, is in need of constant nourishment.  Yesterday's meal is not enough to sustain today's needs." (President Ezra Taft Benson).