Day 727

     Things didn't exactly go smoothly on Wednesday.  I fed Katie at 3:30 in the morning, and then we gave her some apple juice at 6:30 - Katie had to fast for her procedure (spinal tap and chemo) so she couldn't have anything else to eat or drink.  Katie is always scheduled first thing in the morning, because of her hyperglycemia.  We have never had a problem at the clinic - until Wednesday.  We got to the clinic around 8:10 a.m.  We were called back around 8:20-8:30.  When the tech finished taking Katie's vitals, all the sudden I realized Katie wasn't acting like herself - and then I realized what was happening.  I turned to Scott and I said, "I think Katie's blood sugar is low."  Scott picked Katie up in his arms - as we walked back to our room we passed one of the nurses and she asked if Katie was okay - we told her we didn't think so, and asked if we could have her blood sugar checked.  Before we knew it, we had 4 nurses and a doctor in our room.  One nurse checked Katie's blood sugar and said it was 64 - not too bad - but on it's way down, is what they thought.  They wanted to put in an IV to give Katie sugar.  The nurse didn't get the needle in on the first try... By then Katie was in a heavy full body sweat and very clammy and lethargic.  I told Scott, "There is no way her blood sugar is 64."  I told the nurse, the number couldn't have been right - I was sure Katie was lower than that.  Scott told me the nurse hadn't let the alcohol dry before she took Katie's blood - and he thought she had gotten a false reading.  When a second nurse finally got the IV in, I told her again that Katie's sugar had to be lower than 64.  Scott asked her to test Katie's blood from the vial.  She tested the blood - and Katie's blood sugar was 36 not 64!  That is very low...and it was very evident by Katie's symptoms.  She was very bad off.  And then top it off with the stress of putting in an IV, not being able to find a good vein, etc... It was stressful!  Katie's procedure got pushed back an hour so her blood sugar could level off.  They kept her on the IV at the hospital during her procedure.  Everything went smoothly after that.  Thankfully Katie didn't need an IGG infusion (which would have kept us there for several more hours). 
     Katie is now on her heavy dose of steroids (and experiencing the effects of that and the chemo).  She keeps saying she is "having a hard time."  - And she is having a hard time.  It is so hard for us to see her this way.  We love her so much!
     Today is my 46th birthday...I thought for sure I was 45, but Scott assures me I am 46!  (I lost a year somewhere).  Scott is working today, so we celebrated last night.  After I blew out my candle, Katie asked me what I wished for.  I told her it was a secret.  She asked a few more times and then she said, "Did you wish that my cancer would go away, because you love me so much?"  Yes Katie...that IS what I wished for, because I do love you so much!  (She asked us the same thing on Scott's birthday).  We are glad for the treatments she has been able to receive, and we are glad there is only 4 months left!  Last night when Katie took her medication she said, "I only have to take 3 medicines tonight?...That is so great!"  Only 3.  Soon it will be none - every night - THAT will be great!
     "For all of us this life is a time of sifting and refining. We all face trials. Individual members in the early days of the Church were tested and refined when they had to decide if they had the faith . . . to put their belongings in a wagon or a pioneer handcart and travel across the American plains. Some did not have the faith. Those who did traveled 'with faith in every footstep.' In our time we are going through an increasingly difficult time of refining and testing. The tests are more subtle because the lines between good and evil are being eroded. Very little seems to be sacred in any of our public communication. In this environment we will need to make sure where we stand all of the time in our commitment to eternal truths and covenants."  (President James E. Faust, "Where Do I Make My Stand?" Ensign, Nov. 2004, 21)
     My ancestors are among those who faithfully put their belongings in a handcart and traveled the long and difficult journey to Utah "with faith in every footstep."  My great, great, great grandfather is one of the men who carried women and children across the freezing river.  He had guard duty that night and he had no dry clothes to change into.  As a result, his legs and feet froze, and he was no longer able to walk.  He refused to have his wife pull him in the handcart, so he crawled on his hands and knees behind the handcart for 3 days before he died.  He had faith, his wife and his daughters had faith.  His wife also died on the journey - she didn't make it all the way to Utah valley - but their daughters did.  This is my legacy and heritage.  They gave up all they had, to live according to their beliefs and follow their faith.  They did not shrink when the journey got hard, and neither must I.  My ancestors did not give up all they had - including their lives - for me to falter now.  I must carry on this legacy and teach my children to "walk with faith in every footstep."