Day 53

     HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Katie is doing great!  She is walking - and loving it!  She had her last spinal tap for awhile (last Thursday).  Actually, she gets the next two weeks "off".  Katie continues with her daily chemo pill, but she won't have another treatment until January 12th.  Katie will need this time to get her strength up for the next phase, which is called "Interm Maintenance".  During this phase Katie will get all of her levels tested and if her numbers are up, they will specially formulate two different types of chemo to put into her port.  This will be done about every ten days, for eight weeks.  Each time Katie goes in, they will check her levels, if they are down, she will get blood or platelets or whatever she needs and then when her levels are within normal range they will give her the treatment.  Each treatment they will "up" the dose of the chemo until her body "can't tolerate it anymore".  --Meaning, mouth and throat sores and/or her levels drop so low that the doctor decides her body can't take anymore.  We aren't sure what to expect - but it doesn't sound good.
       I know this is "Katie's Blog", but as the writer, I can only write from my perspective.  I write things as they are, how they are happening, and how they are changing Katie, me, our family.  I am Katie's mother and her illness has changed me.  So, on a personal note (that I will tie back into Katie's illness), I am happy to say good-bye to 2011! As someone said in church today, "2011 was not my favorite year".  Ditto.  Looking back, at the year my mom had a stroke and my dad died, that was a hard year, but this year rivaled that in a way.  The "trials" during the year my dad died and my mom had a stroke, could be considered "God's will".  Whereas, most of the things our family went through this year were brought on by "others will".  People using their free agency/choice in such a way, that it drastically impacted our life.  God will not interfere with a person's free agency.  He allows us to be tried and tested to see what they, and we, will do.  (There is a point to all of this).  My point is, having gone through both types of adversity (intensely) this year - "God's will" with Katie, and "others will", I have learned a thing or two.  I won't share all that I have learned, just one. 
     I felt very isolated and alone while living through the ongoing impact of "others will".  I was isolated and to some degree alone.  By November, I was barely treading water - effectively drowning.  So, you would naturally think that Katie getting cancer would have "sunk" me.  However, in a way I cannot explain I have been greatly strengthened. -- Well, I couldn't explain it, until I recently read a quote by President Thomas S. Monson, where he asked us to go "to the rescue" and serve others.  He said, "We will discover that those whom we serve, who have felt through our labors the touch of the Master's hand, somehow cannot explain the change which comes into their lives.  There is a desire to serve faithfully, to walk humbly, and to live more like the Savior.  Having received their spiritual eyesight and glimpsed the promises of eternity, they echo the words of the blind man to whom Jesus restored sight, who said, 'One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.'" ("To the Rescue", Ensign, May 2001) 
     Anyone who talked to me in October, verses, talking to me today, would verify this change in me.  I have been strengthened!  My perspective has grown.  I have an increased desire to serve faithfully, to walk humbly, and to live more like the Savior.  I have felt the touch of the Master's hand through the labors of others.  I was rescued.  It took Katie's cancer to make it happen, but I was rescued.  Whereas I was blind, now I see.  My focus has shifted.  I am grateful for those who took action and served.  I know the beginning of a new year is just a change of numbers, and in and of itself, doesn't change anything.  However, it gives me a chance to have closure on the afflictions and tribulations of the past 12 (and more) months.  I am glad to have it done with.  I believe in a patient and loving Heavenly Father.  I am grateful for His help, love, mercy and compassion.  I am just sorry for Katie's pain.  We have made it through the year.  I am done looking back.  We are looking forward to a new year!  We believe there are good things to come.  (I asked Scott if there was anything he wanted to add or change, and he said, "Ditto for me").