Day 75

     If you ever start to feel sorry for yourself, I recommend sitting in the waiting room at a children's clinic...It is a sure cure for self pity!  I never knew there were so many sick children.  The children I see are so brave and courageous!  My heart goes out to all the children and their parents.  Today I met a dad in the waiting room, his daughter is just a few months older than Katie, and she has a brain tumor.  It sounded like her chemo treatments are more short term than Katie's, but more intense.  She was bald and had a patch over one eye.  I don't know what her prognosis is... The dad told me their older daughter had gone through the same thing - same brain tumor.  They are the only people anywhere who has ever had two children with that type of brain tumor.  I can't even imagine how hard that would be - to have to go through something like this with two of your children!  Now matter how hard our situation is, I keep getting reminded that there are others, who are going through so much worse!
     Katie and I spent 6 hours in the clinic today.  I had forgotten we were getting a 3rd type of medication today in addition to the 2 chemo treatments - and that is why it took a little longer.  Katie is doing fine.  She didn't feel like eating dinner, but the good news she hasn't had any tummy troubles yet.  They gave her a dose of anti-nausea medication prior to her treatments, but I am still surprised (grateful) she is doing as well as she is.  
     Last night Katie had nightmares.  In an effort to prepare Conner for me being gone today, I told him last night (in front of Katie) that we would be going to the doctor today.  Katie got upset and said she didn't want to go.  I know Katie was having nightmares about it last night.  She woke up hysterical and was almost inconsolable.  She was restless for the rest of the night.  After talking with Dr. Dana about our "night time troubles", I think we are going to try and have Katie and Conner sleep in the same room tonight.  Katie and Conner were sharing a room prior to Katie getting sick and I switched her to her own room (for multiple reasons) prior to her coming home from that first hospital visit.  Since then, Katie has been waking up multiple times a night, and it is hard to discern if she is hurting, scared, or just in the habit of being comforted.  (When we were in the hospital - both times - I would sleep in the bed with her so she wouldn't be scared or to help her when she was hurting)  The problem is that she is still wanting/needing that.  Anyway, it hadn't even occurred to me, that she might feel better/safer if she were sleeping in the same room as her brother again.  So, we are going to give it a try...that and a little tough love.  Which is tough, because it is hard to discern when she is hurting or just "milking it".  But mom and dad need some sleep too...
     At Christmas time we gave our neighbors 7-UP soda with 7-up-lifting thoughts for the new year.  Here is my favorite thought, thought #7, by President Thomas S. Monson: "It is important that we recognize that whatever has happened to us has happened to others.  They have coped and so must we.  We are not alone.  Heavenly Father is near."  Today I am glad to be reminded that I am not alone.  My sister posted the nicest post on Facebook and others commented.  Scott's parents were here to help.  The Biggs brought us dinner.  And our long day at clinic was made so much easier by watching movies and playing games on the I-Pad, that friends gave Katie.  Thank you all for your support, help and prayers.  Heavenly Father is near!